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JoLiKMC

10 Movie Reviews w/ Response

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This Hurts My Soul as a Command & Conquer Fan

Wow. This is garbage.

Most of the graphics are yanked from Renegade and Red Alert 2. Some of them are good graphics, but most are not. Graphics get flipped, skewed, and generally screwed-up and pixelated. It does not make for a pretty movie. In this case, in fact, it makes for a very ugly cut-and-paste monstrocity.

Zero. ZERO style points. You're, like, the first person I've ever given ZERO style points to. Do you know what that means? This film is freaking LAME. ZERO style. The actions don't synch up with the music and Zero Wing has been done to death. At least be original if you're doing to screw with Toaplan's game.

The sound quality was decent. But there were no sound effects to be heard.(Does not effect Overall Score.)

There was a little badly-drawn violence to be seen.(Does not effect Overall Score.)

No interactivity.(Does not effect Overall Score.)

Very, very trace amounts of humor.(Does not effect Overall Score.)

So overall? You freaking fail. You fail almost as bad as that yahoo who made the Tiger Electronics Castlevania II Handhead Game Flash. Never, EVER submit something like this again.

johnm831 responds:

Jeez you obviously don't get the whole idea of this animation. Like my Eiffel Tower "monstrocity" (spellcheck) it's meant to suck in an amusing way. I know that kind of humour doesn't appeal to everyone and that's fine by me, but if you'd given me 10/10 for style then I would have failed. Miserably.

Actions were sync'd, audio is streamed so there's no reason there'd be any issue there.

Here's the deal. I submit whatever I want, and if you don't like it, blam, it, and I won't submit it again.

The Continued Adventures of Adai and Miro

Oh, just peachy. The one day out of the week I'm actually not here and my radar completely misses this Flash. Well. . . Better late than never, I suppose. Let's get into it. . . This one's going to be a short one(short for ME, anyway), seeing as I'm really freaking tired for some reason. Heh heh. . . "Your movie drained me of life."

So. . . Graphics get a 6 because everything's beautifully drawn as usual, however, it's so graphic intensive, older computers/motherboards like the one I have in my machine aren't able to handle it at anything above 5 frames per second on anything higher than Low Quality. Yes, people still use older hardware. Go figure.

No real comments on the style, other than the fact you're a hack. Then again, I'm one to talk.

Sound quality is alright. No real complaints there, outside of the fact "Still More Fighting" is very badly timed and even goes as far as to LOOP after the movie is finished. A nice fade-out would have worked just as well.(Does not effect Overall Score.)

There's a bit of bloody violence in here, but that's not the "selling point" of the movie, as it were.(Does not effect Overall Score.)

Zero interactivity.(Does not effect Overall Score.)

Finally, there's a couple good jokes, such as a look into the duo's past, or the game advert, but that's it. All other attempts at humor are either ripped-off from other cartoons outright failed attempts. At least you seem to have stopped ripping off 8-Bit Theatre. . .

So, overall? You fail. Sure, a 5/10 may SEEM like a good score considering I generally don't go much lower than that on even the worst entries, but consider this. I also don't go much HIGHER unless the entry truly says something positive. And this entry, to me, says "I have the skills to make Flash. Just not the mental capacity to make a GOOD Flash." So. . .yeah. Better luck next time.

DeuceNine responds:

wow youre a good reviewer! no sarcasm there. i noticed that the movie may seem to lag that is why i put a quality button on my next episode. well its a coincidence that you mention the quality, because i was searching for the quality actionscript right before i read you review.

Ren & Stimpy-Styled Comedy Done Badly

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. . . This will never do, guys. I have no idea how this got on to the front page in the first place. It's like the folks at Newgrounds habitually grab a random entry that's beautiful-looking, but otherwise not that great, and throw it up on the front page. But maybe it's just me. . . So, let's get into it.

Graphics make the movie, in my opinion. Even though they're not very original -- they're terribly close to the "commercial" segments in The Ren & Stimpy Show -- I think it works for this animation. They're very well drawn, crisp, and show no obvious tearing or other goofs. Therefore, I say it's worth a 9.

Now, I said the graphics were close to The Ren & Stimpy Show. However, that's not the only thing that closely resembles said cartoon. The style of this animated short is not only resembling the commercial segments of Ren & Stimpy, but also of a good deal of other John Kricfalusi's work. Right down to the spoken dialogue and reactions, which are way too overdrawn. Even by Spümcø standards.
Also, the opening credits are far too long for this to be a truly decent short. The credits themselves are roughly half the cartoon! So, that really does knock off some points from style, plunking it down to a meager 3 out of 10.

Continuing. . . The music is very fitting for the scenes of the cartoon. Fits like a glove. However, the voice-acting, while equally fitting, is kind of obvious and overdone. By "obvious," I mean it's really easy to tell it was all done by one person, as it states in the credits. A little variety in how you do the voices could have hiked this score WAY up there, but instead, the music saves it from being abysmol by keeping it at a solid 6.

Finally, humour. . . As previously stated, this really isn't anything we can't see in a Spümcø cartoon. This specific style of humour has been done to death in Ren & Stimpy and The Ripping Friends. But it's not even that, that brings this score down to a 4. It's the fact that little in the cartoon was pulled off with true success.

So, to summarize. . . Everything in the cartoon seems a little forced, the timing is a little off on things, and overall, it's kind of dull and boring. 5 out of 10 really isn't a bad score, but if you put in into fractions, you'd notice it's really just 1/2 a good cartoon. It really does amaze me that this made the front page, but then again, I'm not the Newgrounds people.

Until next time,
Joseph Collins

mumbla responds:

Oh man, I have so many things to say to this...

First I'd like to say you are one professional Newgrounds reviewer.

Obviously it made the front page because a numerous amount of people liked it, just because you didn't, doesn't mean newgrounds should have to change their standards to your liking.

And why are you even keeping track of the points you give, it was an amatuer cartoon made by 2 people, if you want big production cartoons go over to atomfilms or something.

Goofy and Dull

A video file. . .converted to Flash. . .on Newgrounds?! Oh my god, it's the apocolypse, yaaaaaugh!! Seriously, though. Making a movie, then converting it to Flash just so you can get people to vote for your stuff on sites like Newgrounds is just plain silly. There are video sites out there. Ones that are like. . .well. . .like Newgrounds for the AVI/MOV enthusiast. Anyway, on to the review.

Being that this is little more than a video file, converted with full sound and frame rate, to a Flash file, the graphic quality is, of course, going to be very bad. Not only is it extremely pixelated, but even the lighting, colour balanced, and perhaps even the camera alignment and angling are all very questionable. It's viewable. . .but only to a point of being able to recognize things for what they are. Also, on 16-but colour mode(in Windows), you can plainly see some "hidden text" throughout the video. These would be the ending credits. . .if the video didn't instantly jump back to the Newgrounds loader, instead of stopping.
In addition to the video being grainy and blocky, the sound was also rather bad. It was perfectly coheirent and understandable, yes, but because of they unprofessional way of recording the sound(read "shouting from across the room without microphones"), a great deal of the dialouge is lost to volume issues. Mostly low-volume issues. Which is an issue all on its own, considering if you crank the volume up to hear the lost words, you get yelled at shortly there-after.

Interactivity gets a zero because. . .there was none. No, I don't include the clickable "play" button, or the clickables at the "end".

This video was really random. Extremely. There obviously was no script, and therefore, gets a very low "style" rating. It had its own style, but it's nothing we haven't seen in Flash and movie files a million times before. Ever see the Williams Street line of cartoons?(Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Sealab 2021, etc.)
There also wasn't enough violence to get any "violence" rating worth mentioning. We saw a sock get molested by a sock and a sock slap a sock. . . That's about it.

The humour itself is the highlight of the movie. While it consists of mostly random quips and idiotic behaviour by two people "who were very bored," I'm generally a fan of "stupid" humour. Dumb & Dumber pulled it off quite nicely. So did Bryon and Johnny, here. Still, it wasn't enough to save this movie from a personal Blam and negative review.

Okay, so. . . In short, the movie was too bright and too blocky view properly, a little too random to follow, and too damned goofy to be worthy of a replay. It's movies like this that make me wonder. . .whatever happened to "vintage" Psy productions? The past shall forever remain as such, in the eyes of perpetual downward spiral.

Psyguy responds:

Holy shit, someone that hates me doesn't like my stuff. Amazing.

More Iffy Than Genuine

Okay. . .

I can admit that I've been a little harsh, when it comes to reviewing some of your past, feeble attempts at entertainment. . . But for some reason, this particular Flash movie struck me as being rather amusing. I'd LIKE to say "nicely done". . . . . .er, so I will.

Nicely done.

Gasq responds:

And you are...?

Captain N's Newest Predecessor

This. . .is going to freaking ROCK. . . Metal Maverick? Are you aware of the comic series, Captain SNES by Jay Davis?(http://captainsnes.keen space.com/) I think you two ought'a put yer heads together and at least talk. I'm seriously torn between this, and Jay's comic series. If this trailer/title sequence is anything like the Gamer Elite series is going to be, you can count me in as a supreme fan, man!

MetalMaverick responds:

I have gone through some sites online to get some further research on the old series, but can't say I stumbled upon that. I'll have to take a look. Thanks buddy.

Ha Ha Ha... This Isn't Worth my Time

It ain't Eskimo Bob, and it's not really Sonic... Super Sonic never threw Kamehameha wannabes at people. =P Really... If you can't try harder, I suggest you give it up.

Gasq responds:

I suggest you get a life...

Silver Sonic Isn't The Only Thing With Wrath, Here

This was an improvement over your first Sonic sprite-movie, but not much of one. Though, I admit, it would've been cool if the fight with Silver Sonic was harder in the real game, like it looks to be, here...

Gasq responds:

Actually...this is my first Sonic sprite movie.....

Informative, But Really, Really Uninteresting

It's not that I don't like science and whatnot... But seriously... You could at least TRY and put a little more work into your homework. That's why it's called homeWORK. You're s'posed to WORK at it. Not throw some wire-framed, static-pictures together, say, "How...to in-fect...a...cell," and call it A+ material... And besides... Newgrounds has enough of this sort of crap on it's servers already. Do everyone a favor and never submit this kind of thing again... Please?

Gasq responds:

Guess what? I did get an A+ on this! Speaking of "work" I would like to see you make a decent flash movie for once, instead of criticizing everyone elses work. Its people like you that sicken me.

They Call Him Sonic. They Call YOU Dense.

I can honestly say this is a poorly-made Flash movie. The sprites were of horrible quality, being all fuzzy and whatnot... The sound was barely audible, and the general aspect of the movie was just plain silly... I'm going to go view some of your other movies, now, and see if they're as bad as this was.

Gasq responds:

There is 1 thing that I truely dispise, and that would be a "computer geek" such as yourself. They seem to relatively take games and movies seriously, (especially online games) and have little or no friends. They hang around the computer so damn much, because they feel rejected by what I call the "real world" This is just a simple little flash movie, k? You may now continue your long and pointless life.

I dunno what to tell you about myself.
I like music and video games, and I've been for years.
 
Also, I like Roll. (:

 
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Jo Li KMC @JoLiKMC

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